Whilst it sounds great to bend over, pick up your children and give them a hug, sometimes (especially at this rather demanding time of year) it is easier said than done.
Imagine you are at the end of your tether, rushing around, meeting all the demands which society puts upon you, and start to miss the excitement and buzz which sweeps your children up. They become very enthusiastic, carried away, yet at the same time, you too are pulled in every direction.
Then, the child’s behaviour is not compatible with your agenda. They become upset, you become upset, they lose control and then…..
What happens next? If only we could press the pause button, reflect, assess and take appropriate action, the outcome will be very different.
How to calm a situation down
If, you can find that magic key, instead of fighting fire with fire, name calling, shouting, and so on, and instead, deal with upset with compassion, you can give this little person who your life revolves around a safe haven – somewhere to go when it all gets too much. They hit out at parents, because parents are safe, the constant person, and especially after the hype of the day, maybe they just need something different.
It is not about rewarding bad behaviour with a hug, but giving a point to diffuse, to be safe, to try to respond differently.
Being calm is easier said than done
Don’t think for one minute this is possible every time!
At 4am in the morning, your child is hungry and demanding food to be brought (I remember such a night and that was certainly not high on my agenda of things to be woken up for, and as you may have guessed, I wish I had reacted with greater compassion and understanding). However, every time we manage to press that pause button, and respond differently, the time after it becomes easier.
After a while, your child responds differently, bringing about a happier world and life for all.