Do you ever wake up and just lack energy, motivation and start to sink under the burden of the day ahead, worrying about everything which may or may not happen, and looking at everything with dread?
Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s a virus – there are probably loads of labels or reasons you may add to justify it – but maybe, there is something far more positive you could do. Continue reading “4 ways to improve the view of your day”
Is it that people don’t know where to turn for help, or is it that they don’t WANT to ask for help ? Continue reading “What’s stopping you getting help today?”
The pace of life is so fast. There is little respite, you probably feel that you are just about hanging on there, and there is very little time to just ‘be’. Return from a holiday, and within no time you struggle to see the point of all the rushing before you go, and the immense game of catch up afterwards.
All of this frantic behaviour has a huge impact on health – both physical and mental, and whilst these impacts may not be apparent at first glance, over time, it will be evident for all to see. Just like weight gain or loss, day to day we do not notice, but catch up with someone you haven’t seen for a few months, and the impact is soon plain to see.
Six simple ways to gradually reduce your stress, so if you are a little reticent to stress management, you can make these changes safely, without feeling awkward about many other techniques which may just be a step too far.
Together we can bring some Serenity to your life
Very few people sail easily through every day of life (despite the impression they may give). What makes it even harder for seemingly robust people (and maybe you are one of these), is that the crash from performing for the audience (this could be workforce, employees, family or friends) to facing your woes seems far bigger and painful. Imagine having the best day ever, then the next morning you wake up and find that your world has collapsed. For some, this type of day comes along far more frequently that you might imagine.
I first met Dr James Rouse a couple of years ago (first watch this video). I was told to make sure I got to the front of the auditorium and to be as close to him as possible. Hearing from other Serenity financial life planners, I was told of the profound effect which his energy, enthusiasm and vigour had on them.
Aside from being a great speaker, incredibly fit, and full of energy, Dr James is unbelievably generous with his time. There is no ego attached, he goes about his day helping others, inspiring them, and encouraging enthusiasm. I had a great dialogue with him over the course of the conference, which meant so much to me, that a headline speaker would take the time to share his wisdom on a one to one basis.
In the video, James talks about dark days. This made me sit up suddenly, as he is probably the bounciest, happiest person I can imagine. Of course, behind what we show the world, there are frequently very different feelings. We have all heard of unhappy comedians for example.
Here are 4 particular attributes which contribute to dark days, and how to reframe how you are feeling :
I hope that you find Dr James as uplifting an inspiration as we do at Serenity.
Together we can bring some Serenity to your life
Back in the day (the 80s), if you came across a group of teenagers, the chances are that they were standing around, sharing their cigarettes, and engaging in some form of social interaction. It may not have been for everyone’s taste to walk through a tobacco smoke plume, but hey ho, those lads and girls were interacting – even it it was also causing early damage to their developing lungs. Continue reading “What’s more addictive – cigarettes or phones?”
It is generally easy enough to think nice thoughts about other people (it is actually easiest to criticise, but that is a topic for another day).
You may have noticed over the years, that very few people are telepathic, they cannot read our minds. If the FBI cannot find a source of telepathic people to be agents, it is unlikely that the people we meet day to day will have such skills. Continue reading “How can you improve someone’s day?”
Aside from low esteem, lack of self worth, depression, PTSD and suffering from workplace bullying, another key factor which led my friend Del to die by suicide in 2013 was the stress of the financial future. Worried that his illness could cost him his job, he could see no way forwards, no way to protect and provide for his family, and no outlook which seemed possible. Tragically, I only knew of this after he died.
Had Del sought professional financial help instead of suffering quietly, allowing the stories of worry to spin out of control, without doubt we could have found a way to change his perspective, and work together to build a way forward. Instead, he came up with his own financial plan, to protect his family’s financial future by choosing to die by suicide, relieving his own suffering and in his eyes, helping them.
Picking up the pieces, and working with Del’s wife Nel, we have been able to help, to give her purpose, and to bring a little sparkle back into her eyes at times, and that is the most worthwhile aspect of being a financial life planner.
Where-ever you are, here are 6 stressful money situations highlighted by Business Insider which may seem difficult to avoid, yet are never the end of the road – there is always a way forwards …
If you do not have capital saved, make sure you have an emergency credit card to fall back on. This is a temporary solution, but will give you enough time to seek proper advice, and make a plan to move forwards.
Here is a stress-pit of worry. How much should you borrow? Should you borrow as much as possible? Should you use all your savings? What protection should you have?
The questions are endless, yet can be answered if some proper planning and modelling is carried out.
No two people are the same, there is no magic number which fits everyone.
Only when you know what you would value in retirement, can you start to figure out what you may need money-wise.
This is the importance of financial life planning – an approach which puts your life at the centre of the plan, not the monetary values. You may be surprised, the qualities in life which you want may not required huge sums of money at all.
Just like above, no two people are the same.
If you have a range of plans and ideas which need you to be fit and healthy, maybe you need to retire sooner. If you love what you do, but can start to find a great balance between that and leisure, then there may be no reason to rush into it.
Either way, discussing a planning it is essential.
It’s hard to say no, and at the same time, many of us would rather see our children not have to struggle.
Making it too easy may not be a good thing, but saving it all up until you die – that too has it’s own perils.
Whatever you do, by adopting a balanced plan, and sensible approach, you could be able to help your children along, and at the same time, helping them value what they are given.
Above all, don’t deprive yourself of the fun you deserve later in life (but also, don’t aim to be the richest person in the cemetery).
One of the trickiest conversations of all is talking about your parent’s money.
Naturally cagey, they may not want to volunteer the information (and is is hard to not look as if you are interested in an inheritance, particularly if they are unwell). Bring siblings into the conversation, and start the discussions well ahead of time to figure out what sources may be available for long term care funding, and of course, what wishes they have. In the same way that you want to enjoy your life, they should be focussing on their days being as comfortable as possible, not scrimping and saving and trying to get one over on the local authority by not paying for care (saving the fees, but ending up in a grotty care home).
By proper planning, and discussing these issues with a professional, there is a chance that many of the most stressful money situations can either be avoided, or at least eased.
Please, please do not let them spin out of control stories in your head. Ask for help, get a reality check, and let someone guide you onwards.
Find someone who speaks your language, who keeps things simple, and are focussed on you. Financial decisions are hard enough to make at the best of times, never mind when you have huge levels of stress and worry to cope with.
Escaping The Bucket 