I am sure you can recall with familiarity with the school bully. That person who you tried to cross the playground to avoid, yet they always seemed to come after you.
It is not just at school where we see bullies. Maybe the same sort of person carries that on into adulthood, or maybe, the bullied becomes the bully when they get a little power at work.
My pal Del felt that he was being bullied at work, nothing was done about it, and so, in the end, it led him down an ever deepening hole, which ultimately contributed to him dying by suicide in 2013.
How do you know if you are being bullied ?
Life Advancer have highlighted 6 signs to look out for :
- Belittling – your ideas are undermined in front of other co-workers
- Embarrassment– someone regularly puts you down or shames you publicly
- Manipulation – they find ways of framing things so that you feel uneasy, sad or hurt (maybe ignoring you) so that they have a degree of control
- Lying or Sabotage – they get rid of the competition, or put others against them
- Unreasonable Behaviour – they set tasks for others which are impossible to perform or complete, causing others to perform poorly.
- Unnecessary Competition – they make the workplace needlessly competitive, creating an uncomfortable situation for others
Just reading through these, I can easily identify three situations, of which only one is work related, where such behaviour had been regularly demonstrated in the past. To me, that is a clear indicator that bullying is rife in many areas of society, far more than we, or those particular organisations, would care to admit. I am afraid, that in this modern era ‘a bit of banter’ just does not cut it as an explanation any more.
What is bullying?
Bullying isn’t necessarily pinning someone up against the bike shed wall demanding their dinner money, but frequently intentional behaviour by others to manipulate you into performing and feeling less than you actual deserve to.
I once read ‘people resign from their bosses more than their jobs’ which rings very true for many clients I work with. Do you ever find yourself paralysed by the fear of taking action knowing that no matter how unpleasant your situation is, it is familiar and that feels comfortable?
Sometimes it is about being bold, taking a step back and having the strength energy and support to finally escape that bucket.
Never be afraid to ask for help if you feel someone is not treating you right.