What is the one thing you feel MOST uncomfortable talking about?
Have a think a moment, then write down a few ideas.
What did you come up with?
Perhaps you had some of these : politics? religion? death? mental health? regrets? sexual orientation?
How about money? How comfortable would you really feel about talking to others openly about your finances – how much you earn, how much you owe, or how much is in your bank account?
Let’s be frank – thousands of people each week stand in front of a room of people they barely know, and weigh (knowing full well that the rest of the group are probably judging them from behind). But money ? Nah, you’d probably feel far more uncomfortable about telling people what you had spent or saved this week.
In his workshops, Terry Mullins – The Reluctant Salesman, maintains that people are far more likely to talk about their sexual preferences than they are their money. How bizarre does that seem to you?
A couple of thoughts spring to mind here :
How comfortable would you feel discussing with someone how much you earn? How about the balance of your bank account? What about the equity in your house or the level of your mortgage? How about how your financial position may have changed over the last month?
For some reason, you probably feel an awkwardness around your money. You may want to bury the risk of discussing it, and as such, the last thing you may want to do is to talk about this stuff. Maybe it is down to feeling apprehension about being judged, maybe there is an element of embarrassment that you have more than perhaps you should have, perhaps you don’t want to appear flash?
There are many reasons – each reason is personal to you, and most likely shaped in your mind since you were in your childhood. On the other hand of course, there are a few people who like to talk about nothing else, but you may find they tend to appear obsessed – the same applies – something has triggered this behaviour somewhere.
It is not just your attitude to money which is shaped at that young point of your life, there are many attitudes which are shaped in childhood. This all leads to the importance of us reflecting and considering where such attitudes are shaped, how our relationships with the past affect our relationships today – whether it is with people or money.
So how would it be if a slick, smart, flash-harry type ‘professional’ strutted into your house or office to tell you how foolish you had been with your money, and how you should be smart like them? Yep, that will do it – further enforcement of how uncomfortable you already feel around money and the decisions you make. Crash, there goes any glimmer of confidence you may have had.
How would it be though, if you shared a discussion which was about you, about what is important to you, to find meaning and understanding around your financial attitudes, and to feel supported, guided and helped? Maybe, just maybe, that may produce a far more positive outcome.
So if the embodiment of Marcus Tandy from the 1992 BBC flop Eldorado is not quite the type of person you are happy to discuss that last great taboo with, maybe it is time to look around and find someone who wants to build a relationship with you, not just your money.