How to cope with dark days

Very few people sail easily through every day of life (despite the impression they may give).  What makes it even harder for seemingly robust people (and maybe you are one of these), is that the crash from performing for the audience (this could be workforce, employees, family or friends) to facing your woes seems far bigger and painful. Imagine having the best day ever, then the next morning you wake up and find that your world has collapsed. For some, this type of day comes along far more frequently that you might imagine.

I first met Dr James Rouse a couple of years ago (first watch this video).  I was told to make sure I got to the front of the auditorium and to be as close to him as possible. Hearing from other Serenity financial life planners, I was told of the profound effect which his energy, enthusiasm and vigour had on them.

Aside from being a great speaker, incredibly fit, and full of energy, Dr James is unbelievably generous with his time.  There is no ego attached, he goes about his day helping others, inspiring them, and encouraging enthusiasm. I had a great dialogue with him over the course of the conference, which meant so much to me, that a headline speaker would take the time to share his wisdom on a one to one basis.

In the video, James talks about dark days. This made me sit up suddenly, as he is probably the bounciest, happiest person I can imagine.  Of course, behind what we show the world, there are frequently very different feelings.  We have all heard of unhappy comedians for example.

Here are 4 particular attributes  which contribute to dark days, and how to reframe how you are feeling :

  1. Perfectionism– when no matter what we do is good enough.  The answer – to realise that we are all students in life.
  2. Not Enoughness– where we feel we should be better and we are winging it through life, waiting to be found out. James advocates focusing on just one thing, and doing that intentionally well.
  3. The Human Doing– we all live busy lives, balancing commitments, obligations and duties. We are all consumed by ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’. After all, we are Human Beings,  so take some time to just be.  Have some time for you.
  4. Sadness – which sometimes just hits us. We wake up feeling just sad, then wallow in that without any real reason, maybe even beating ourselves up about it. Trying to be compassionate and present with the self is a great way to be kind to that most important person – you!

I hope that you find Dr James as uplifting an inspiration as we do at Serenity.

Together we can bring some Serenity to your life

 

What is a financial life plan ?

Here is a questions often asked – what is a financial life plan, and why would I need that as opposed to a financial plan?  

More and more consumers are understanding that there is a difference between the old way of financial advice (selling as many products as possible) and financial planning (where recommendations are able to demonstrate that they are relevant and appropriate for the long term).

So where is Financial Life Planning different? Continue reading “What is a financial life plan ?”

Is the financial advice experience negative or positive?

A question I have been mulling over – ‘is financial advice negative or positive’ – or is it aimed to create negative feelings, then solve them with overly positive predictions or scenarios, or actually, should it be to create positive feelings, then stay sensibly grounded, aware of what could happen (negative scenarios)? Continue reading “Is the financial advice experience negative or positive?”

Can you recognise the vicious cycle of money worries?

There is a vicious cycle combining money and mental health  – quite simply, worrying (about money in this case) makes mental health worse, and poor mental health, makes managing (money in this instance) harder.

Although we are taking money as the example here, the example can be extended to many areas – just substitute money for ‘work’, ‘relationships’, ‘health’  and many more.  In particular though, the money cycle is one which can have a self-destructive path which is far more challenging to escape from. Continue reading “Can you recognise the vicious cycle of money worries?”